Nazz Van Bartonshmeer
Nazz is the stereotypical cheerleader/unattainable love interest. Trendy and attractive, Nazz mostly hangs out with Kevin. All of the boys except Rolf and Jimmy are infatuated with her. Whenever she approaches, Edd and Eddy begin to sweat, and lose the ability to speak coherently. She is the head cheerleader at Peach Creek Jr. High. Although Nazz is usually depicted as sweet and smart, she can occasionally be a bit eccentric and acts as the stereotypical dumb blond. She doesn't mind the Eds unless they bother her and other people. She usually wears a sleeveless shirt with a black T-shirt underneath and jeans. For bedtime, she's been shown wearing panties and a tank top. Personallity Peach Creek's very own blonde bombshell and siren of the cul-de-sac siren. As trendy as next year's fashion must-have, as cool as a cucumber and as hot as a freshly buttered piece of toast. Nazz leaves blowhard boys like Kevin & Eddy frothing in her wake, nice guys like Edd reduced to quivering amoebic proportion and little kids like Jonny agog with simple childish adoration. So just what is it that makes her such hot property? What is this secret ingredient that she possesses - if indeed she has one? Well to tell you the truth we think it boils down to this, purely and simply, Nazz - unlike Sarah, Lee, Marie & May - is NICE. The fact that she's the only remotely approachable 'grown up' girl in the area counts highly in her favour (and by 'approachable' we mean you can talk to her and then depart with your internal organs still anatomically attached which is fairly unlikely should you choose to approach the Kankers!) Nazz is always happy to talk to the youngsters, Sarah, Jimmy & Jonny and she'll even play with them. Equally she's at home hanging out with older kids, Kevin & Rolf and to her credit she's even friendly and welcoming towards the Eds too! Nazz is viewed by her peers as something of a dichotomy, on the one hand she successfully projects an aura of being the universal worldly-wise loving and caring 'tell me your troubles' big sister while on the other hand, with her sultry voice, fashionable appearance and by the mere fact that she's friendly and approachable she exists to several of the boys as 'this'll make them so jealous' fantasy girlfriend figure and as such she has no rivals. Maybe if the Lee, Marie and May smartened up their act and started being pleasant to everyone she might have some serious competition! Don't hold your breath though! Nazz appears very much of a background figure in most of the Season 1 shows, she's there but she's not doing much and only a couple of times does she actually have any impact. Probably the best example of said impact is at her pool party in "Pop Goes the ED" where both Kevin and Eddy are reduced to piles of goop by her sultry approach and the Eds - trapped naked in the paddling pool - are practically regurgitating their illicit burger n pig's head suppers for fear of her getting in with them. This theme carries on throughout the following seasons, cropping up memorably in S4's 'Take this Ed and Shove it' with the boys trapped in Dr Nazz's dentist's chair and the Xmas special 'Jingle Jingle Jangle' were Eddy nearly asphyxiates on his eggnog as Nazz offers him herself beneath the mistletoe! It must be a hormonal thing, the Eds are desperate for Nazz's attention and to impress her but once she's focused on them all they can do is the old deer in the headlights act every time! Season 2 sees Nazz with a slightly bigger slice of the pie, although its fair to say that she still spends a lot of time being eye-candy for the Eds n Co a couple of worthy out-of-character moments fall her way. One, in 'Key to My Ed' occurs when she gets into a misunderstanding about Jimmy's shampoo and winds up having a fight with both him and Sarah whilst in 'Urban Ed' she fails to see how gallant Edd is being in his efforts to protect her from Ed n Eddy's deadeye pigeons and winds up smacking him too. Further along we learn she's doing a lot of babysitting work and what's more she's smart enough to have mastered all the legislation that goes with it. In 'To Sir with Ed' much to his chagrin, Eddy finds he's not on a date with Nazz at all but is simply on the receiving end of some of her professional TLC care of his parents! Hmmm … so does this mean Nazz is hot? Undoubtedly she would think so, and probably the Eds, Kevin and Rolf would all agree she's a pretty cool cat although we get the feeling that many of Double D's female fans - judging by the acid reception (especially to that 'my hero' style kiss in 'The day the Ed Stood Still' - don't like her too much! And as to her infamous 'My pores are screaming' line uttered - nay, purred, whilst sweating demurely in the Eds makeshift sauna, well it's been a big hit with the guys - need we say more? Nazz has a lot of self-confidence, especially in her ability to wheedle boys into doing things for her. In Season 3's 'For Your Ed Only' she coos and coerces the reluctant Kevin into digging through the neighbourhood trash cans in search of Sarah's missing diary, but perhaps her finest hour wheedle-wise comes in S2's 'High-Heeled Ed' when she subjects the sweating Eddy to the full blast of her feminine charm in an effort to get him to give her the gold pants for nothing. It's a close call but in reality she was never going to win, not when the supreme influence of cash was on hand to rule his decision in Jimmy's favour. Wherever she is in the cul-de-sac, Nazz usually winds up the centre of attention - Sarah wants to play badminton or discuss haircare, Rolf needs her for Urban Ranger training, Kevin just wants to hang out with her (and jealously prevent Eddy cutting in on the act) and Eddy when he isn't drooling of course is after her cash. Where romance is concerned, its insinuated rather than obvious, the older boys in the cul-de-sac lay claims of a sort to Nazz but they're very different in the way they think of her - to Rolf she's 'trendy Nazz-girl' worldly-wise and reliable (although there is a very strange moment in S4's 'Take this Ed and Shove it' when the old age Rolf assures the imaginary Nazz that he does not love her, suggesting perhaps that once in the past he did) whereas and the more upbeat Kevin thinks she's something special and because of this it's often supposed that Kev and Nazz are an item. So, is Nazz stuck on Kevin or is it just because she's older and he's older that she's always seen with him, dancing on the sidewalk to that boombox, drifting after him tied to a balloon, even babysitting Eddy … take your pick. And is Kevin stuck on Nazz? Could be! Never mind his last Rolo he gives her his last Jawbreaker - awwwww, could it be they were made for each other? Is Nazz the one who's going to make him a little more humane or is it simply a fact that these two kids just like hanging out together? Of course as we know its not just Kevin who like Nazz a lot, other beady eyes are on her too, especially Eddy's! Eddy notices Nazz a lot, he especially notices her lounging and in the fevered realms of Season 3's 'Once Upon an Ed' where Eddy is king and Rolf has a squished head, Kevin is a monkey and Jimmy n Sarah are reduced to silent eager-to-please hangers -on, Nazz is his most ardent admirer, open-mouthed with anticipation, shiny-eyed with adoration and …oh Eddy, you should be ashamed … wearing a bikini! Of course the definitive episode illustrating Nazz's effect on the cul-de-sac's male population has to be S3's 'Boys Will be Eds' just watch those tongues loll and those gifts appear, it's like watching frenzied Elizabethan courtiers trying to gain their queen's favour whilst simultaneously trying to outdo one another. And as for Nazz, what does she think of this strange behaviour, well they're boys aren't they and nobody really understands them! Nazz in a nutshell. She's cool. She's hot. And everyone loves her! Old Nazz The Old Nazz from "Take This Ed and Shove It" wears a kilt, has acquired glasses, and feeds birds bread crumbs but still has her youthful attitude, calling the birds "little dudes". Jonny says she's still got it but Eddy does not know what he is talking about. Personality Nazz seems to be the happy beauty of the kids and actually despite her looks has a lot of tough strength shown in many episodes. Nazz is pretty much the "dumb blond" type character of the show. However earlier on in the series, before the kids started school, Nazz was noticeably more mature than most of the others kids. At one point she even condemned all the boys for picking on Jimmy ("Boys Will Be Eds"). Another instance in "Dim Lit Ed" she condemned Kevin when he rammed Eddy with his Dunce cap. Of course we can't forget the time she baby sat Eddy ("To Sir with Ed") meaning she had a reputation with the adults of being mature. Trivia *It was revealed in a flashback in "Every Which Way But Ed" that she was once very fat. Somehow, she lost it. *She sometimes wears boxers. *It is revealed in "Urban Ed" and "The Day the Ed Stood Still" that Nazz knows karate. *It is revealed that she knows Eddy's Older Brother, and probably isn't scared of him. *In some episodes, It can be expressed that Nazz likes Eddy. Seeing how she holds a concern for him when he had a zit on his head in X Marks the Ed. Or when she had fascinated looks in her eyes when Eddy was showing off in Cry Ed. Completely ignoring the fact that he crushed Kevin. *However, it may be possible that Nazz might have a crush on Edd, as in "The Day the Ed Stood Still", she kissed him on the cheek. And furthermore, she picked Edd to dance when he came crashing into a wall to apparently get her attention in "May I Have this Ed?". *However, whether or not she does like Edd, she has been seen abusing him. Such as in "Urban Ed", where she karate chops Edd (though she might have just developed her crush after this episode. Or in the episode, "The Eds are Coming", she slaps him even though he was once again trying to help her (though she was just angry at that time). *It can be observed that Nazz is the character with the most voice actor changes (beating May's record of two by one actor). *Nazz also knows how to yodel, but her voice is so powerful that it is able to break glass, porcelain, and Ed. *These are the grades of her report card as seen in "Mission: Ed Possible": Math: A Science: B English: C Cheerleading: A History: B Art: C Cooking: D Category:Characters